Is there such thing as a “Failed Relationship?”
I guess it depends on how you define a successful relationship. If you’re looking for a relationship that lasts until death and falls short, then I guess using the term “failed” is well within reason. But if you are approaching relationships in general as an opportunity to relate to- and experience another person for a period of time….then I guess you can never really fail at it, can you? You just let it run its course.
With that perspective, how then would you define success? The longer I think about relationships — those I’ve had and those I’ve yet to experience — I think that maybe the way I would define success in a relationship is the mutual willingness to remain open and adaptable…
Relationships evolve. They are fluid. When you are willing to remain fluid and adaptable, you are succeeding at it…when you stop and become rigid, you resign to failure.
Sometimes during this transition, I look around at my house — there are quite a few empty spaces. I wonder: Is it realistic to think that I am going to meet someone who is willing to plug-in to my existing lifestyle and run with it? Kids? House? Dog?
I don’t think so….and nor would I ever want that.
I am looking for an individual who brings his own special brand of pre-existing chaos — kids/job/family/pets/hobbies — something new and different than my own; something that will add to my life in a positive way, enrich what already exists, and make me want to continually adapt to live alongside him.
Many people divorce and immediately get the travel bug (myself included). It’s a rite of passage and a time when you need to re-connect with yourself in significant ways.
But beyond the prerequisite singles pilgrimage to Macchu Picchu (it’s a thing!), my next real adventure doesn’t require a passport. The next adventure is about the people that I let into my life — the search for those that will influence myself and my children in a positive way.
At this moment, I don’t think I could write an accurate “want list” for my next relationship. I don’t have many rules for this phase of my life. I am trying to stay open. However, I am slowly forming a brief “don’t want” list to help me keep the toxic people out and make room for the very necessary, indulgent, passive and almost spiritual concept of embracing more of the “let”…
Let live, let go and let love come as it may…..
with just a pinch of: let’s see how that works out for ya!!!
(because even in my own head, I’m still a wise ass 😉 )