Is there a fine line between quick reaction and careful response?
I was talking to my brother recently about the dating scene and how odd it is to have these long-standing “text relationships.” I was quasi-complaining about how difficult it is to get a sense for the person and how they handle situations in real time. What are their raw reactions? I just can’t tell without vocal inflection, dramatic pause, giggles, stutters and any other nuance that makes or breaks a conversation. There is only so much feeling that can be accurately conveyed via emoji.
My point to him was this: even if you have already met the person several times face-to-face, there is still an important dynamic that gets lost when you are communicating mostly via text message. Being a true Millennial, my brother saw it entirely differently. He argued that when texting, you have an opportunity to take a deep breath and respond mindfully rather than react emotionally to conversations. Texting allows you to pause and say what you really want to say. Silver lining?
So, how does this practice translate into my every day life? I am not texting at work with folks around the conference table. I am not texting in the kitchen when I talk to my family… But I can do one thing that helps me to insert a thoughtful pause before I deliver my response — one deep breath. This “pause” button enables me to think about how I want to respond to a situation, rather than react with emotion.
In trying to be more mindful and more present every day, I remind myself to take a slow, deep, deliberate breath before reacting. It’s silent and often imperceptible, but it’s at the ready for me to use whenever I need it. I am learning that the more I use my breath, the more effective I am at responding honestly and without regret.
One breath makes the difference between blowing-up and breaking down the situation constructively….it’s the difference between full-on tears and a restorative sigh.
One breath can change the outcome of everything.
It’s such a simple tool. So simple, in fact, it’s almost divine.