I was out drinking with a friend recently. She saved me from an awful first date. As we ran — and I mean RAN — from the restaurant, we started laughing at ourselves, she looked straight at me and said “Ugh, there you are. I finally have my friend back!”
Here’s the understatement of the year: women are strong. But even the strongest among us ladies can use a reminder now and again. It’s nice when the reminders come from a man — significant other, dad or brother……but when the reminders come from your closest girlfriends, they carry a weight 10x as powerful. In this case, she was reminding me that I have been in a rut lately, and that laugh was just the pick-me-up I needed to shake it off.
Thankfully, my girlfriends are always at the ready to steady me on the days that I feel off balance and on the days that I have lost myself, they draw me back in. Many people say that when you go through divorce, you really learn who your friends are. For me, I already knew — the friends I have are golden.
I don’t have sisters and part of me always felt like I was missing out on something really special not having a built-in best friend. But as I get older, I realize, the women that I surround myself are even better than sisters. They weren’t chosen for me — they were hand-selected by me. Each friendship is lasting because it is rooted in a significant part of my life. Each friendship is part of my core and has shaped who I am.
I have a girlfriend who I have known since toddlerhood. She is the closest that I have to a sister. She is my confidant and copilot. She shares my history and sometimes she knows me better than I know myself. I am so thankful to walk alongside her in this life. This past year, we are the closest we have been in almost 20 years because we are on this divorce journey together. And as we move along the path, she remains both my kite and my anchor — lifting me up when I am dragging along and grounding me on the days I that I need to be held down.
Another girlfriend is someone I feel so blessed to have in my life because we met at a time when we were both looking for big adventure and we sure as hell found it — on every train, plane and hydrofoil in western Europe! She is the guardian of my secrets, she is the yin to my spiritual yang. Her presence alone liberates me –whether we are drinking tea in my kitchen or sipping sangria on La Rambla — we share a love for adventure, optimism and the possibilities. She is the key that unlocked my potential and I am open-hearted and open-minded because of her friendship.
Another girlfriend brings out my wild side in ways that I absolutely adore. Her energy is infectious and she is my adrenaline boost whenever we are together. She is not just a great time, she is a great and loyal companion. She is also a dynamite wing woman and my definitive lucky charm.She is that friend who is unafraid to say “just shut up and kiss him!” She challenges me to be less vanilla and more spice, and she is never afraid to speak her mind. She is a pistol and when I feel timid, she is the voice in my head that reminds me of my uniqueness, sensuality and edge.
The list of friends goes on…One who is my daily lifeline and co-mommy. We have so much in common and we laugh at ourselves more often than not, which means I am constantly smiling when we are together. One who is infinitely wise and inspires me to think outside of my world. When I leave her, I feel as though I have hit an emotional reset button. I even have girlfriends from work — from many jobs over the years — that I stay in touch with. Each are fierce and talented in their own right…When we have brunch or cocktails, the conversations flow easily because we share so many of the same challenges and triumphs as professional women. We relish in the womanhood of it all, and we wink at each other from across the table because we KNOW….we just EFFIN’ KNOW.
Women are strongest when they are supported — not by men — but by other strong and positive women, whose eyes reflect both a twinkle and a reminder of self-worth…
From the brazen twenty something barreling toward a promising career in heels she can barely afford.
To the middle-aged mother torn between her responsibilities to her children and her desperate desire to recapture the identity she once had.
To the old woman who finally gets all the peace and quiet she once craved, but would trade it all to be in stomping around the city in heels once again…
Each of us has been there and learned from it.
And someday, God-willing, if I am lucky enough to be that old woman, I hope to sit around the table with my circle of strong women, look at their faces, recognize the twinkle in their eyes and giggle over the most scandalous stories of our past!