My walls have been up for months. I meet people all the time but I am so reluctant to let them in. I have been in such a protected (and protective) state when it comes to my feelings. I go out on dates and recognize the potential connections but I am not sure if I am in a place to do anything about them.
I know that I need to open myself up at some point, but I am just too overwhelmed with responsibilities right now. It is so much easier to bury my head in the daily tasks than broaden my heart and connect with others.
It is no way to live but I also need to forgive myself for those weaknesses — I need to allow for the moments when I cannot hold it all together — the moments when I just need a little time and a little space to work through the bumps in the road.
I need to accept and allow myself to experience discomfort — it’s the only way to grow. I already know it. I just have to do it.
Right now, my inner voice is screaming at me — telling me that it’s ok to take on the work, but it’s also ok to let loose and take on the fun.
My heart is telling me to welcome the risks of connecting with people… to go ahead and lose yourself a bit….to be willing to hurt again because in the process you might love again.
I have to chip away at these walls. It’s no one’s job but my own…