About a year ago a I had a pretty memorable conversation with my trainer. He is the kind of person you can talk with about a range of topics, and the conversation always evolves into something that is uniquely insightful. I love how open-minded he is and though it is very hard to have deep conversations between sets of crunches, we somehow we pull it off.
(Maybe that is why his training is so effective? Mind AND body working double time — holy crap, he’s a genius! OK… I digress)
Anyway, we were talking about relationships — romantic or otherwise — and the effects certain people have on your brain.
Some people make you feel super-charged, energetic, focused, unstoppable… their effects are like Dopamine — once you experience the excitement, you immediately desire more. Often, you become addicted to the feeling.
Other people make you feel at peace and placed firmly on the ground — their effects are like Serotonin — cooling your engine. They are not as jazzy as the Dopamine folks, but they serve an important purpose in our lives. Serotonin is important for calmness and emotional well-being.
So how did we end up likening people to neurotransmitters? He was telling me about how he ultimately had to choose between 2 women in his life — one who was like a drug for him — inspiring him to be active and adventurous (and causing a lot of drama!) and the other that made him feel like all he wanted to do was chill out at home together and stay low-key.
We concluded that so much of who we choose to engage with relies upon how we ultimately want to feel at any point in our lives. His body wanted Dopamine but his heart was craving the Serotonin — the comfort of a stable relationship.
Ultimately, he chose Seratonin and I asked him why he couldn’t have both in one person? His response:
“Good Luck! Let me know if you ever find it … Now do another set of 20“