Today is my first time visiting Europe in almost 15 years. I’ve been looking forward to this moment for months. I have been planning this trip and yet, I have little to nothing planned — no itinerary! Just a few days in Amsterdam with my brother and a few days in Italy with my best friend. Just a few days to wander and discover and think and observe.
I wasn’t looking to do anything in particular and yet I was determined to get myself here.
I wasn’t looking to feel anything in particular and yet I found a feeling that had been buried inside me…. a little sliver of myself that I had totally forgotten existed…as soon as my feet hit the ground in Amsterdam, it surfaced, I caught it and I felt as though it never left.
Day 1 my poor brother spent the day sleeping in the hotel room fighting jet lag and a nasty cold. So I took the opportunity to walk around the Amsterdam a bit and get to know the city. I found my way to Vondelpark and just took my time, following the paths, people-watching, dodging bikers and mentally cataloging everything.
After 2 hours of walking, I saw down on a bench, had a snack and watched as an old man slowed his bike, rested it on a wall nearby and stopped to admire the view in the park. That simple moment embedded itself in my heart…I took out my sketchpad and quietly recorded it — him, the bike, the brick wall…the view. As I sketched, my fingers grew cold; it started to drizzle; I kept drawing. I was totally engrossed in that one act. No one calling my name, no emails, no texts, no drama. Nothing but me, that old man and the charcoal in my hands.
20 years ago, I traveled through Europe with much the same sense of appreciation for the opportunity to observe. In Venice, I sat in front of the tomb of Titian and sketched his effigy. In Florence, I spent early days of winter sketching the statues in the Boboli gardens. My hands were numb with cold, much the same way they were in the park.
I have never been to Amsterdam before. This place is entirely unknown and yet I traveled all the way here to find something entirely familiar: my peace.
This trip is not about seeing the major sites, it’s about observing the minor moments… allowing myself to get lost in them… lust for them…
I guess subconsciously I knew that all along, and that’s why the plan for this trip, was not to have a plan at all, but to just go with every moment and get lost…even if only for a short while.
“The woods are lovely, dark, and deep. But I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.” – Robert Frost