I often joke around with my friends that marriage is an unrealistic proposition: tethering your life — emotionally and financially — to someone else’s from the moment you breathe “I do” to the last breath you ever take. It’s a noble proposition. And for those who do it successfully, I applaud the commitment. But for many,…
Value
Here’s a word that has been swirling in my head all day – value. Value means many things to many people. I never really thought about how personal the perception of value is until I began to think about assigning value to the elements of my life — how I value my family, my friends,…
Follow that Which Calls You
I noticed lately that I never hear anyone refer to their career as a “calling” anymore. That’s not to say that those involved in careers they truly love do not feel that way. It’s just that turn of phrase has some how fallen out of popular favor. There is something very powerful about referring to…
It’s Fine, I Don’t Care, I’ll Figure it Out
First post of 2018 and I am a week late with it! The reason? I was putting way too much pressure on myself to get it just right. I wanted it to be profound, purposeful…funny… maybe punny? (Because I am a dork like that). But uggh…enough dragging…Let’s just do this! Here’s the deal: My daily…
Thanks, Tom
I left my attorney’s office today, having signed my final divorce agreement. This is a day 1.5 years in the making and I am looking forward to starting 2018 with a completely clean slate. To be honest, when I left the office and I got into my car, I really didn’t know how I should…
But wait, there’s More!
Have you ever eaten a bag of M&M’s and titled your head back to rattle the last few pieces of candy into your mouth? (please don’t judge my PMS rituals) And then, just when you thought the chocolate fun time was over, you feel one more little sucker tucked into the corner of the bag….? That’s…
Mommy and Me
When I was married, I was fully on a conveyer belt to what I thought was the life I wanted, or the life I was supposed to have. Once the marriage was over, and I embraced my freedom, I spent a lot of time rediscovering myself and life became something utterly different. Popular advice I…
Be Like the Lobster
I first saw this video two years ago, and every once in a while, I re-watch it to remind me of how natural and necessary the process of growth is, and the feelings of stress that often signal when it is time for change. It’s a short clip, but the message is profound, and it…
Anger and Change
Anger is such a waste of good energy. Some people thrive on anger – they let it consume them, and sadly, don’t realize that overtime, it slowly becomes part of who they are. If you think about it…most of the time, what makes us angry is merely the result of unmet expectations. How to reduce…
Get Lost
Today is my first time visiting Europe in almost 15 years. I’ve been looking forward to this moment for months. I have been planning this trip and yet, I have little to nothing planned — no itinerary! Just a few days in Amsterdam with my brother and a few days in Italy with my best…
Dopamine vs Serotonin
About a year ago a I had a pretty memorable conversation with my trainer. He is the kind of person you can talk with about a range of topics, and the conversation always evolves into something that is uniquely insightful. I love how open-minded he is and though it is very hard to have deep conversations between sets…
What Would I Tell this Girl?
I was cleaning out some old boxes recently and I found this picture of myself. It was taken a little over 10 years ago on my honeymoon in South Africa. I picked it up and I just stared at it for a minute or two. I just kept staring at her….this girl in the picture…this…
Over Exposed
I am a thinker; an analyzer. I often get lost in my own world; picking my thoughts apart and trying to make sense of my life and what I want out of it. It’s a flawed process because ultimately, we have no control over what happens in our lives. So maybe I am a fool,…
A Moonlit Path
This might be stating the obvious, but divorce is a dark, dark experience. When everything began to unravel, I felt trapped in my home, surrounded by photos and memories and a sense of falsity surrounding the life I thought I had. Burdened with keeping my emotions hidden from family and friends while trying to figure out…
Uncomfortable
It seems like lately every day presents a new challenge to me — I am living life way out of my comfort zone. Greater financial responsibilities. Greater work obligations. Less control over where and what my children are doing when they are not in my care. And very little opportunity to have a “normal” social…
Strength in Silence
This year has been transformational for me in so many ways. One of the primary reasons I created this blog was to challenge myself to do what scares me most — put myself and my deepest feelings out into the world. I have always feared being an open book and this blog is just what I need…
The Rule of 3’s
True story. Too funny. Had to share. Here’s the scene: 3 recently divorced women are sitting around one night after putting the kids to sleep. Woman #1 and woman #2 are loud mouths and woman #3 is the quiet, reserved type. (Yes, it’s me and my friends. Yes, I am loud mouth #2) So,…
Willing to Hurt Again
My walls have been up for months. I meet people all the time but I am so reluctant to let them in. I have been in such a protected (and protective) state when it comes to my feelings. I go out on dates and recognize the potential connections but I am not sure if I am in…
Let Live
A few months ago, my girlfriend and I were at a bar in Miami during the Chinese New Year. As part of the festivities, the bartenders provided every guest with a blank card, upon which, you were supposed to write your intentions for the coming year. It’s the Year of the Rooster, by the way. I…
Complete Relief
Late last summer, I had lunch with a friend of mine…she is a mom, a clinical psychologist and an overall amazing person. We talked about everything and at the very end as we were wrapping up, I mentioned something that had totally confounded me. I went on to explain that at the very moment I…